It is the irony of life that great happiness is often tempered with a sadness, and that for every gift we receive we may need to let go of something else that we have held precious. Whether we call this coincidence, or whether there is something greater at play, I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that within our human existence we are finite, and so is our capacity – at least as it pertains to our physical availability. We have infinite capacity to love, to grow, to hurt, to heal, and all these have their season. But physically, though we may be able to do ANYTHING, we are unable to do EVERYTHING. This too has it’s emotional counterpart, in that we can’t be all things to all people, and we should not want to either.
Often as females, especially if you are a people-pleaser, we need to be needed. We thrive on feeding others. Be it physically offering up acts of service or emotionally fortifying them to go out and stand up for themselves. It’s amazing. And wonderful. And sometimes, it is just too much.
Though we may believe our purpose lies in serving others, and that we are fulfilled by filling up the cups of others, we too need to be self-aware as to our motives. The old adage of “You cannot pour from an empty vessel”, is as profound as it is true. We may have a deep desire to impact positive change. To heal the hurts of the world. And to be there for people no matter the circumstance. But sometimes life calls for an internal season. A season to put what you hold sacred in a circle and protect it fiercly.
The very essence of being human, is being vulnerable. We strive to put ourselves in the shoes of another. We empathize so deeply that we share each others hurts. We care so much, that it increases the capacity for the hurt that ensues when we lose something we value. Loss is a reality of life. We lose loved-ones, partners, parents, friendships, jobs and sometimes, we even lose faith. And it hurts. When this happens we can either choose to let the loss change us negatively or we can use it to grow. I choose growth.
When someone you love chooses to no longer play an active part in your life, that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you have to stop loving them or wishing them well, but you do need to take the time to grieve the loss, because when you love someone and they leave, they leave a very definite and real “them-shaped-hole” in your heart that only time and tears can start to fill. We need to accept that every new season brings their own set of new beginnings and blessings, and their own set of goodbyes and endings. And we need to remember that there is nothing as constant as change and there will always come a new season. And though nothing is forever, if we want something to last, it takes effort. It takes an emotional investment. And it takes honesty and vulnerability. And it needs to be put in that sacred circle and afforded the time it deserves.
Do not ever be afraid to say I am sorry. But also do not be afraid of walking a season alone.
I am so grateful for those who have walked every season with me. I am grateful for those who could only stay a season or two. I am grateful for those who are still to come. I love you all. Even if we don’t speak anymore.
If I can leave you with anything today it would be this:
“Be Brave. Be Kind. Be True. And put what’s sacred in a circle and protect it!”